Anxiety

My anxiety makes me a burden. Some days it's so intense I could barely leave my house, and when I do I feel all the eyes around me staring, and I can't help but keep my gaze to the floor hoping it would swallow me whole. I cancel plans, a lot, because too many people are going and I know my breath will be rapid, my voice raspy and my eyes watery because I'm nervous around people I don't know. I overthink little situations and I know what my friends would tell me, "It's not that big of a deal, you're overexaggerating", so I just drown myelf in my thoughts until I pull myself out someway, because I'd rather embrace my overly sensitive feelings by myself than have someone belittle my emotions.

Anxiety steals away opportunities right from my grip, it makes me wonder if I'm ever good enough until my muscles loosen and my chance slips right through my fingers and I don't notice until it's too late. It makes me run away from people, it plays on my nerves to the point where I can't even say hello to a person, it makes me turn around and walk away when someone is about to approach me. Anxiety raises the voices in my head until they're too loud I can't hear what someone else is saying, and then clouds my brain that I fall unable to form an apprehendable reply.

I may have gotten some control over my anxiety, but it has been an ongoing war for ages that I can never win, no matter how stronger I grow it will always be more powerful, no matter how hard I try to tame it, it will always occupy a piece of my mind. I may have learned how to handle it, but it will always have some effect on me that only I can see, and no matter how much people might think I overcame it, they will never see the battle happening in my head to show the final outcome of a confident person.