Attachments

I still remember my childhood and how I clung onto my mother every time she had to leave for work, and those times when spending the whole day with my friends was never enough, when it was time to leave, how attached I was to those kindergarten's fun days and the family gatherings I used to wait for every weekend, my grandmother's kisses on my cheeks celebrating my birthday, and the ice cream truck passing by at 4 pm and me asking for the same vanilla cone every day, as well as how proud I used to be I'm finally one year older.

And as time went by, everything around has changed and so my attachments did, I got emotionally attached to a love story of mine that didn't end the way fairytales do, and adhered myself to the memories when it was the only thing that's left to keep, to the scent of people that I lost on the way, to my fear of ending up alone or not being able to speak my heart out anymore. I got stuck into infinite loops inside my mind that I no longer want to get out of because they became parts of me as well. I got attached to the knowledge of being aware of how everything was made; music, history and paints, how magically were feelings created and the mystery of how specified the world works just for you to meet up with the love of your life at 8 am when you were late for your lectures anyway.

Only to find out that, as we grow by, everything might change, feelings, priorities and even people, but it'll always come down to one thing that constantly exist all the way long, it just grows massively as well as we do. It's the attachments. Because, no matter how many lessons we've been taught about never getting too attached, or about letting go, and no matter how many people had left us, broke us into insignificant pieces that took so long to repair, or that dreams that fled away when we were just about to reach them, or even these nights our chests felt the ultimate heaviness of emptiness, we still search for something to get attached to, something that keeps us going, simply something that makes us feel alive.