We split two weeks ago, one day before havoc occurred and everyone was required to stay home. I couldn't care less because I was not planning to leave my house after what happened, maybe my house was the only place that held no memories of you. While the world quarantined and expressed their boredom all the time, all I could think of was how everyone was waiting for this to be over to meet up with their loved ones, while I'm wishing it lasts forever so that I don't have to come to terms with the fact that I cant come running into your arms. Maybe I needed to be forced to stay home otherwise I'd be at your doorstep right now, maybe if I was allowed to leave home after seven, by 2 am when all I could think about is you and all my attempts to distract myself from thinking about you have failed, I would be in my car listening to our favourite song and taking the next left to your block, maybe if I was allowed to leave home I could come talk to you, and we'd go to our favourite coffee shop, and you'd order your espresso, and I my caramel macchiato, and we can fix this, maybe we can fix us. Maybe if you hadn't decided to leave me that day, and then found out the day after that we all had to stay home for two weeks, maybe you would have waited these two weeks, maybe you'd have missed me by the end of this period and decided that we belong together, maybe you could've seen then that we can't stay apart, maybe, maybe, maybe. Why didn't you stay one more day? I'm sure I'm worth more than a "its not you, it's me" text, why didn't you spare me one more day that could've turned into two weeks and then two other weeks, and then maybe not at all? But maybe you've already spared me those before, maybe this really was the end, and this was fate's detox. I know since the beginning of this self isolation everyone has been practising on their hobbies, learning new crafts, maybe meditating and doing self care, but I haven't, and for a long time before this quarantine I still didn't, maybe this was fate's way of forcing me to get you out of my system, maybe it was an excuse to stop getting used to you being around all the time, maybe this was a reminder that at the end it's only me I've got. This is my me time; and had it not been for you I would have never given myself that. So as hurt as I am, I'll try to look at the bigger picture, and I can't promise I won't cry or break down or hide my phone away so I wouldn't text you, but I will also try to get back every piece of myself I've lost with you, maybe this quarantine is in my favor after all.
