Unknown Happiness And Sadness

Happiness. Every time I think of it, it feels like I’ve fallen back into an endless void. All of my memories of the old simpler days consist of one-dimensional sadness. Sadness that seems so shallow that it has become the norm at the time. Growing older, this sadness became complex. Bigger problems. Terminal problems. Non-ending problems. Sadness became more than just that. It became an endless void which feels like I’ve fallen back into. Memories of less complex, one-dimensional sadness are what haunt me now. Nostalgia for the simpler days. Shallow sadness; a norm. Is happiness even real? I ask myself that every time I feel nostalgic. An emotion I’ve never grasped, a feeling I’ve never felt. Is it just me or is it the same for everyone? Have we collectively envisioned what happiness would feel like and decided to collectively embody that feeling at one point or another in our lives? Impersonating a persona that we have created of someone with happy moments in their nostalgia-inducing, paraphrased past? Is happiness even real? I’ve never felt this feeling, I’ve never grasped this emotion. I don’t know if it’s just me or the collective, but I know that it feels like falling back into a void every time I try to think of it, envision it. A way too foreign concept that I’ve come to terms with. Something beyond my imagination, something only for my dreams. Happiness.

Inspired by Untold Night And Day by Bae Suah.