under construction

my mood fluctuates
it’s like very different takes
a scene where lovers die of heart ache
and another of them cuddling by the lake
a scene full of turmoil and grief
another of me broken like an autumn leaf
but sometimes it’s not just a mood,
it’s here to stay
makes me want to lay
lay in bed all day
but if i do, i’ll dearly pay
i can’t afford another second
i can’t afford no longer being aware
all i can do is stare
for a glimpse i can see a flare
and it breaks this chain of empty glare
i can finally feel the air
i can feel something
even if it’s not there to stay
unlike my depression
clinging to me with oppression
it’s like i’m bound again
shackled with nothing but my truth
i spoke this into reality
i spoke my chains into life
and now holding to them tight
not because i like them
or accept them
but because i want to fight
i want to see the light
one last time