She Reminded Me of Someone

I’m one of the subway commuters. I'm in love with it; it’s speedy. Besides, the laws of traffic are not applied underground. Sometimes, I feel like a train that knows its destination, and planned stations.

However, most of the time, I’m like a spinning-top that spins so fast around itself. The spinning could be at the same point, another spin could make me bump into every wall and everything around me in all directions, just to turn me back to the origin point.

But, I’m not writing about myself today, I’m writing about her!

The start point was entering a subway train. I couldn't find any empty seats, so I stood aimlessly, scrolling my Facebook timeline; it’s my trick to avoid eye contact with anyone.

Unfortunately, that day, there was an issue with my phone's internet connection, I put it back in my pocket and stared into nothingness.

For a part of a second, my subconscious pushed me to take a brief look at my train-mates out of boredom, hoping to accidentally find someone I might know and to, like, chat with. It’s a 1% hope. I think hope is the feeling at which 1 = 100 since, when it exists, it creates miracles. Yet, I didn’t find any friend of mine.

I made a call just to accelerate the time wheel, while I was talking, I noticed someone was staring at me. She was a young lady. I was up to my neck on my call and ignored her gaze.

When the call ended, my mind was clearer. I saw her face before, this slightly wide mouth, small nose, snowy skin, and black eyes. I can’t resist swimming in those deep seas to reach these round, black islands.

Now, I remember.

During high school, we were talking a lot, but silently -please don’t get confused it’s like what I say, believe me- we only used our eyes. I think it was the most romantic thing I’ve ever experienced, it was so pure and naïve that it makes me laugh while writing this.

We knew everything about each other without knowing one another, it was so complicated. I can’t remember what the problem was, I have hands that could wave and salute, I have legs, I can use them to walk, my feet help me support my walking, I have a tongue that could start a conversation. I abandoned all these organs but forced my eyes to do everything the other organs could easily do.

When something bad happens to her, I send my grief through my eyes. When she gets high grades, I send my proud smiles and show my joyful eyes. She also sent me the same glimpses according to the occasion.

Now, she is a young lady. Her face has changed a bit. I was not sure if it was her or not, but I think that, if she was the one I’m thinking about, she would leave the train at a specific station.

I began looking at her doubtfully, her face started to get angry. I wouldn’t say hi, after all these years, would I?

The seat next to her became empty, she quickly put a 3-year-old girl to sit next to her instead of sitting on her lap.

Her family is a conservative one, who may see the girl’s marriage at an early age as a way or another to protect her from herself and society.

I didn’t notice the presence of this girl until that moment, she is married now? She put her daughter to sit next to her to prevent me from doing so. Now, she’s mad!

Don’t worry, I wouldn’t go chat with you, but thanks for making me remember these innocent memories.

Before arriving at the station, I anticipated she sent me one last look, I think it was a goodbye.

I didn’t know if she was happy with her life or not, we don’t smile much, that was our common trait.

In the end, I wish her a happy life from the deepest pits of my heart.