destiny.
Walking down the road, I spot a bench by a beautiful field of purple flowers. Do I just walk past it? Nope, that wouldn't be me. I reach the bench, take a seat and plug in my headphones. Can We Kiss Forever by Kina ft Adriana Proenza comes on so I higher up the volume to its maximum. Once the sound of the chorus hits my ears, my heart beats respond by drumming loudly against my chest. I can feel it.
I lay down on my back and close my eyes, allowing my skin to welcome the breeze of fall. Involuntarily, my fingers reach down to dance along the pretty flowers and suddenly my brain takes me back in time..
- five years ago -
"Can you see me?" Adam, my boyfriend, asks just when I accepted his facetime video call.
"Oh I don't know. My boyfriend wasn't this handsome last time I talked to him."
"Bitch I'm always handsome." He flipped his non-existent long hair causing me to chuckle.
I was about to tell him all about today in uni when my roommate barged in, informing me that it's my turn to cook.
"Ugh my roommates are hungry, I have to go."
"But it hasn't even been five minutes?" Adam complained.
"I know." I sighed.
"I hate long distance."
"I love you too." I rolled my eyes, blowing him a kiss before ending the call.
The Next Week
Finally, my day off and my roommates are out. I call Adam and the phone keeps ringing endlessly.
Facetime unavailable.
My lips turn down into a frown. We haven't talked in two weeks.
The Week After
"Elsa hi. I'm so sorry baby I know we haven't talked in three weeks but I've been super busy with college assignments and football practice. I'll call you soon I promise."
It has been so long since I heard his voice that my heart skipped a beat over this voicemail. Isn't this sad?
The Next Month
Here I am, standing in the middle of the airport waiting for Adam to emerge from the crowd and when my eyes spot him my legs were already sprinting towards my precious boyfriend.
"I missed you." I whisper, hugging him tightly but I couldn't feel his arms wrapping around my body.
There's something wrong.
"We need to talk." He says, with an expression I can't quite read.
"Let's just get back home first."
The drive back home is silent. Suspiciously silent. Adam doesn't even hold my hand like he used to and these small changes in his behaviour are making me anxious.
Once we reach his apartment, I make us two cups of coffee before joining him in the living room.
"So, how was the flight?"
"Elsa, we need to talk." my heart drops, "I'm super tired but waiting till tomorrow is going to make it even harder."
"Wh- what is it?" My voice comes out hoarse.
"There's a tension between us and I know you can feel it too. Ever since I travelled to study abroad and we have no time for eachother and I know that we both can't do anything about it." He takes a deep breath, "Talking on the phone isn't enough; not that we talk for more than five minutes a week anyway."
"I don't want to hear this. I'm leaving." I mutter, getting up but getting stopped by his hand holding mine. The tears come rolling down.
"I love you Elsa you know I do."
"I love you too." I sniff.
"But this isn't fair. Long distance has been drifting us apart and it's unfair to keep holding on when we just let go." Adam cries. He rarely gets emotional.
I remove my hand from his grasp and walk towards the door.
"You know," I turn around to face him "I've kinda saw it coming but I didn't imagine it being so hard so I'm not just gonna sit here waiting for you to say goodbye while my heart keeps getting torn by the second. What we had, what we have, is too strong for goodbyes Adam and you know it."
With that, I get out of my lover's apartment. I stand against his door for a few minutes trying to catch my breath between sobs when I hear shuffling behind the door. I look down to find a piece of paper. I pick it up to find his beautiful cursive handwriting.
if it's meant to be, it'll be.
- present time -
I flutter my eyes open, my breath hitching in my throat. It feels like yesterday.
My phone rings and I cancel on whoever's calling me without looking down at the caller ID. However, i don't know if its the memory being fresh in my brain or is it me going insane but I can actually hear the warmth hidden behind the voice that belonged to the only boy i have ever loved.
"I've decided to come here for the first time in five years and here you are."
I get off the bench, snapping my head back to find him. He's here. Right in front of me.
Adam looks exactly the same except that his hair now almost touches his shoulder and he grew a well-groomed beard.
"The first place we met." I finally find the words to form.
"The first place we met." Adam repeats, nodding with a glistening smile.
I move over to make some place for him to sit. Our hands brush, and the same feeling of heat that took over my body five years resurfaces. I look over at him only to find him staring back at me.
Our eyes connect all over again.
"Hi."
