What if you could go back

What if you could go back in time and maybe change everything?!

But did I have it all under control?

If go back in time would I be able to change things or would I have to watch it all all-over again while knowing how it would end and not be able to do anything.

Wouldn't that give me the pain of the actual occurrence and being helpless all at once or will I just be numb because it happened before.
Then I realized.

If I go back in time,

I would watch it all collapse and rebuild itself.

I would cry, laugh, and smile it all again.

Because none of it was my choice, it was never under my control and it wasn't rebuilt by my fix.

It miraculously happened.
And maybe if I wasn't so worried about fixing I would have realized it wasn't me who did!

It was always him!