Complicated friendships

I have many friends by my side.

But do I really need them to heal?

Are they going to take my insecurities away? Are they going to stop the voices in my head? Will my scars fade away when they hug me tight? Or will it just worsen the pain at night? Am I going to love myself when I'm around them? Am I going to finally let go of my past? Or are they going to judge my every movement? Are they going to respect all my mood swings and anger issues? Or will they call me a psycho and talk behind my back? Will they handle my cries when the voices get louder? Or am I going to lean on a broken shoulder? They say that my overthinking ruins every happy moment. Little do they know that this is my life everyday. They say that my anger is the reason why they want me to change, but why can't they understand that I can't control it. They say that my mental disorder is pretty normal, but the look in their eyes don't say the same. Sometimes I feel that I don't need anyone by my side, but sometimes I feel that without them, I wouldn't be alive. Time will show us everything; whether we are right for each other or not. Will I ever be good enough for them? Will they save me from my darkness? Or will my darkness make their light fade away? Am I worth their time? Am I worth their fighting? Why am I so fragile? It's a complicated friendship, but I know that one day It'll be alright.