The After-Breakup Mess
One of the most unhealthy ways of coping with pain after breakups is seeking revenge and holding grudges.When some people feel hurt, they focus with all of their energy on hating the person who hurt them, they start placing blame or wishing for some sort of revenge or payback for the damaged made. This causes the soul to be more attached to the pain, it makes the healing process go slower than usual and makes people believe they can never move on.
One fact that we all should try to understand is that not everyone is here to stay forever, some people enter our lives for a temporary period of time, some stories prepare you for your next chapter, some cause a lot of pain reflecting on your behaviour then afterwards we might stop acting in a certain manner and so we evolve, it's all for a better human experience. Let's explore together ways of forgiving and letting go of the after-breakup pain.
When some people feel hurt, they focus with all of their energy on hating the person who hurt them, they start placing blame or wishing for some sort of revenge or payback for the damaged made. This causes the soul to be more attached to the pain, it makes the healing process go slower than usual and makes people believe they can never move on.
One fact that we all should try to understand is that not everyone is here to stay forever, some people enter our lives for a temporary period of time, some stories prepare you for your next chapter, some cause a lot of pain reflecting on your behaviour then afterwards we might stop acting in a certain manner and so we evolve, it's all for a better human experience. Let's explore together ways of forgiving and letting go of the after-breakup pain.
1. Take responsibility for your choices
Don't victimize yourself, do not corner yourself into the victim frame, no one forced you to fall in love with your ex-partner. It was your choice and back then it made perfect sense. You should feel the responsibility without any guilt nor self-blame.
2. Your past does not define you
Think of your life as a play with many characters, some have a short role that has to end, they won't make it to the ending scene but they were an important part and without them. Your play would miss some elements, but it's still your play and you're the one in charge. This is your past, it's important; it shapes your personality but it doesn't define you. YOU define YOU!
3. You're allowed to express your emotions
It's okay if you miss him/her. You're allowed to feel whatever you're feeling right now. You're free to feel any emotion and actually pushing yourself not to feel something magnifies that thing in your mind and so, you feel stuck. Feel it. Own it then let it go.
4. Be like water, soft and pure
Try to see things like you never have before, see what sort of experiences the other person has been through, try to see life from their perspective. Picture this image, hold on to it and keep it in your mind when you feel like you truly understood where they're coming from.
5.You don't have to be right
The world is filled with billions of people who act both good and bad. Being mad at the world wouldn't turn things around, the angry you're holding on to will only destroy you. Be kind instead and kindness will find its way to you.
6. Don't judge, observe!
Judging people around you based on previous experiences won't help you find your way to better once. You should instead lie low and observe as you get to know new people and learn to enjoy the ride.
And finally...
LIVE, LOVE AND LEARN! :)