Love in the Time of Cairo

Dreamers who once reached for the sky suddenly found themselves trapped in the grind, and hopeless romantics turned into top-tier work robots just to make ends meet. In the city where no one sleeps peacefully, only restless exhaustion, joy is rationed and a decent quality of life is a luxury not for all… Where there once was love, now there is chaos.

Cold night at Downtown Cairo

White dress, grey days

The kids who once wanted to dress up for their wedding now don't know how to live through the days. Survival mode is always turned on in the streets of Cairo, with the car lights flashing in your eyes, reminding you to keep your dreams for another reality, therefore another life. Survival overweighs romance as the passion that was once defined as romance is now replaced by a relentless pursuit of stability – marriage, a promising career, a reliable car, a secure house. Love, if it appears at all, seems to be an afterthought. We're designed to follow a well-trodden path defined by milestones, not genuine connections.

Major changes in men's and women’s persona in today’s society

The power-focused, authority figure of a man has shifted to a fearful-avoidant, unable to continue a relationship without flipping the "I'm not in it for marriage but I really like you" switch on. As for the shy, symbol-of-etiquette lady, she has become a greedy manipulative woman, gold-digging for money in men's pockets. Gone are the days of fairy tales' prince charming; potential partners are now often judged more by their bank accounts rather than any romantic ideals, and 'Mrs. Right' is not the woman he loves; it's the woman who can level him up the social scale and be okay with leveling herself down for him. Not all men can handle being bound to a successful woman, and not all women can handle building a life with their partner from scratch.

A distorted form of love

Our generation carries an intricate legacy, being raised by parents who never fully discovered themselves before plunging into marriage. The way we were taught about love was through actions of people who never knew what love really is, and so we confuse love with something completely different like obsession, control, or overprotection. We think we're being loved when, actually, we're being suffocated, and we think we are loving someone when actually we are attracted to the damage we didn't yet heal from. The lingering wounds leave us uncertain if our emotions stem from genuine love or merely a reflection of old scars.

The reason men and women act against their nature

If you ask me for the reason why anyone does anything, it's mostly fear. I wish it was love, but fear is the silent architect of our behaviors. The fear of being exploited, dismissed, or rejected compels us to hide behind carefully crafted masks. We all just want to feel safe; only when someone feels safe can they act and feel like their true genuine self. We all also fear rejection, so we come up with these masks; layers of personalities to cover up who we really are because what if no one likes that person. We are all scared to show how we really feel towards one another; a man scared to put himself out there for a woman, working three jobs trying to afford a decent life for someone who might not really like him for who he is but for what he can do and the kind of treatment she's getting from him. Meanwhile, a woman is afraid to get vulnerable and show real emotions and sincerity for a man who might just like her for her body and the kind of affection and passion he's getting from her.

Self-discovery and real love

Now as we grow led by a path we didn't choose, it's only understandable that we take much longer time to discover who we really are. I can say for myself that I still can't understand what self-love is, not completely. I know it's somehow related to letting go, especially of those versions of yourself that required you to act against your gut feelings. There's greater clarity in learning and knowing more about yourself, facing fears instead of getting comfortable with being stuck in dead ends. Through knowing yourself, love will know you, or so I believe. I tried different ways considering how stubborn I am but they all led to the same road: "self-acceptance." Accepting everything is how love shall shine within each corner of your life, and to accept is to evolve not to settle. Through this self-discovery, hopefully, we find love in many forms – partners, friends, family, or even the smiles of strangers seeing a familiar soul.