•a circus•
On the cold day of winter, I’m sitting beside my grandpa’s apartment’s firebox , letting the rays of warmth slide down through my chest and making me feel so beautifully safe.
I’m surrounded by lots of people , family members , friends and unknown people to me.
I’m looking around trying to figure out how people are so good at showing off their happy expressions and enthusiasm though they might not be yet they may be , it was more like of an infinite war trying to understand them.
All of them are talking about memories they made on that very night last year , achievements and narrating new year’s stories to the kids present.
I tilted my head back to the window and leaned my back against to the wall , so taken away by the moon’s very bright white color for tonight and the stars beside it looking like tiny teeny dots but are actually very rhythmic to the moon’s color and sending vibes of peace and tranquility of mind.
I was so taken away by the circus that was on a far distance from where I was , it was coloured yet seemed very dead.
I got distracted by one of my friends, she’s older than me but one of the very few that I do dearly love and cherish.
“What are you looking at and leaving us all alone roaming around?” She asked.
A moment of silence
“That circus there , it looks weird , Doesn’t it ?”
“Oh yes , it does , that circus actually has a very astonishing story.”
“Astonishing you say ? What is it?”
“I was like you , I only knew of it last year , my mom told me about it.
Circuses are known by a lot of people that they’re happy places, they’d go to a circus to apprehend their swinging moods by laughing and smiling so much at those moves the animals do and clowns juggling around. A circus would be their number 1 “go-to” whenever they feel a bit down.
So, let me ask you , what comes on your mind once I say the word
“Circus”??”
“ Clowns , tigers and elephants.”
“These are the things that come on most people’s minds’ , the very happy conventional half of the circus.
That circus you see had many clowns but only one was loved by many.
He was known for his capability of sprinkling happiness and smiles wherever he goes.
One day that circus went down, all of his clownish friends left him and they went on a searching journey for jobs to satisfy their needs , it wasn’t really about making others’ happy anymore .
They’ve put themselves as priorities.
Now back to that very loved clown , he went mad , very mad! He was quite baffled why he was left alone in the most times of need ? Why did his friends just let it go that easy ?
He came to a moment of realization that he’s now all alone , no clownish mates anymore and in
a dogs-eat-dogs world , that was a hard slap on the face to him.
Being fond of making others’ happy and then losing the interest was hard to him but then he lived his life as if it was fine.
He eventually decided to be his own source of happiness. “
A 5-minutes of silence went and then she continued.
“What happened at that circus might be normal to lots of people but to him , it was devastating.
You always see clowns making those childish faces so that others smile so cheerfully but what about them ? It’s us actually who’re the same.
You give the circus-performer look but it’s nothing but a crying book.
We live a life of a circus , seeming so beautiful from the outside but dipped in bowl of untold stories on the inside.
Put yourself as a number 1 priority , soon you’ll realize, it was the very right thing you did in life. You don’t live to be onto the level of other’s expectations but yours and that’s how that very loved clown decided to live the rest of his life.
Living in a quiet place away from the circus, away from what brought the pain from the first place and that is the story of that circus that you’re so attracted to.”
And then she sighed deeply.
“Never have I ever thought about that dull side of a circus , one that’s full of unbearable noise, how sad and magnificent at the same time”
“Yess! Now , let’s go for a walk .
At least the moon would make a good companion for today?”
“ Yes , it would”
She then went to get her coat and I peeked a last look at that circus .
Very dull ,yet very adventurous”
•••••••••
