Meraki.

Today, I went out for a walk on the beach during dawn, I laid down on the cold sand as I stared up at the stars, the sound of the waves filling up the silence in the atmosphere, as if filling up the emptiness in my heart. My mind flashed back to when you were here with me too, and you laid next to  me, our gaze fixed on the sky, making up shapes from the clouds and exchanging memories of what we thought the stars were made up of when we were kids, how you thought they were jus dots on a large blue canvas that was the sky, and how you made fun of me because I thought I was the only one who saw them, and that I made them my own little secret, just to find out the science behind them after I grew up and that my secret wasn't a secret after all. But that wasn't the only thing we shared, I knew your weaknesses, what made you happy and what made you blue, how you dream of traveling the world, spreading your art everywhere. I knew you long enough to solve all the puzzles of your personality, and when we fought I knew what buttons to press to have you smile a little and forgive me. I still hear the sound of your laughter even though I haven't heard it in months, and my heart aches every time I remember that I probably won't anymore. That maybe one day you will get to travel the world, but I won't be there to cheer you on, and I won't be the first in line to see the successes that I know you'll achieve. And you... I've shared with you the deepest parts of my personality, yet you accepted every flaw. You knew when to give me my space, and when to stick to me like a shadow because you know the times when I shouldn't and can't be alone. You tickled me because you know how crazy it made me, by time you even learned my reflexes and stopped getting hurt by the fists I threw at you unintentionally. These memories hurt me, and no matter how loud the sound of the waves was it could never outwin the war taking place in my heart and mind. However, all the love I have for you doesn't blind me from the facts of why it all ended, and that I understand we grew older, and apart, and that maybe our needs and priorities have been set differently from when we first met, that now we both need things in order to grow that are distinct from each other, we would only be in each other's way, baby. No matter how much I love you I wish you all the best, even if it's without me, because I know you want the same thing, and as I write these last few words, I will be giving myself the closure that I need, and as I shut my eyes closed, laying there on the beach, I will be taking in the last memories I have with you, accepting the paths we've chosen, and moving on. Peacefully.