a twelve month journey, one year later.
I'm standing in the middle of our backyard as the snow falls heavily around me. I can't find him anywhere. Where the hell did he go?
"June! I'm going to count till 3 if I don't find you right in front of me, forget about mr carrots." I shout waiting for my black retriever to show himself "One.. Two.. Th-"
I'm interrupted by a big black dog throwing himself at me and I couldn't help but smile. I bend down to pick him up.
"You've gotten heavy since last year haven't you June?" I talk in my baby voice "Let's get inside, daddy's waiting for us."
I put him back down on the ground and he immediately runs inside. I close the door to the backyard and head inside too, to be welcomed by a sight that overwhelms my heart. I tiptoe towards the couch and plant a kiss on Iris' cheek before draping the blanket over him. Looking over at the oven, my christmas cookies are almost done so I go inside to dress up quickly before I could hear the sound of the oven ticking. I look over at the mirror and try to smooth my red silk dress as much as possible so I can look slimmer, just like last year. However, it doesn't work.
My hair is still in a messy bun and my face is makeup-less when I get into the kitchen and find the dork I'm in love with biting into one of the cookies.
"Iris!" I sternly say, crossing my arms over my chest.
"You caught me hehe." He places the cookie back on the tray and turns around, looking all cute and warm with his messy hair all over the place since he just woke up. I walk towards him and he snakes his arms around my waist.
"Why can't I be mad at you?" I fake a frown, looking up at his face.
"You love me and I'm adorable." Iris sheepishly smiles and kisses me slowly before twirling me around, "Damn! Look at you in this red sexy dress."
"Yeah well I still need to do my hair and my makeup." I groan.
"Can't we just stay here and eat the cookies ourselves?" He pouts.
"Haha, nice try. Now go and wear your suit." I push him towards the bedroom.
After drawing green trees and snowmen on the cookies, I packed them up in a cute christmas box. I go inside my bedroom with June following behind until he finally jumps on the bed and nuzzles himself under the covers. I look over at the bathroom to make sure that Iris is inside, then I sit in front of my vanity. I bring my face super close to the mirror, inspecting the gigantic scar across my forehead as a result of my brain surgery last year. Now I don't want to sound ungrateful, I thank god everyday that I'm now cancer-free but it comes with its consequences. For example, this hideous scar that not even concealer can hide and let's not forget about my hormone imbalance which causes my body to look too big one day and too skinny the next.
My thoughts are interrupted by masculine arms wrapping around my shoulders from behind. I was too lost within my thoughts I didn't notice Iris coming out of the bathroom. He rests his chin on my shoulder and softly leaves a kiss on the inside of my neck.
"I know you don't believe me," My fiancee whispers "but you are incredibly beautiful Hope. You literally have no idea how beautiful you are. Look me in the eyes and tell me that's not the face of someone who's completely in love with you."
I slightly turn around so my face can be inches away from his. My eyes meets his and I'm taken back to last January when we first got together; when he told me that he's in love with me. They're the same hazel eyes full of pure love. The same spark in his irises are evident and I'm falling in love with him all over again.
"I love you." I mutter.
"I love you." He smiles, giving me a tight hug before sitting on the edge of the bed watching me doing my makeup and hair.
When we're all done, Iris picks up the christmas box full of cookies under his arm and out of the house. On the ride, I keep texting our family and friends that we're almost there. I mean we are almost there if it weren't for Iris driving at a speed of 20 so he could be able to dance along to christmas songs. It takes me threatening him to bail on our christmas movie night tonight for him to drive properly.
When we finally arrive to his parents' mansion, the lights are all out. Suddenly, there are silly strings and glitter thrown everywhere with people jumping and screaming 'Happy Anniversary!'. Before I comprehend what's happening, everyone's hugging me and I'm still trying to understand what's going on as I hug them back. At first, I thought they meant Iris and I's anniversary but there's still a month left. However, it struck me what this is all about when I saw two pictures glued next to each other on the wall in front of me. One is a girl I can barely recognise now, pale and fragile as she sleeps in a hospital bed with tubes in and out of her nose and a machine next to her counting the heartbeats. Me. It's me, the day of my surgery. The picture next to it though is a very happy me. I'm also laying bed, my bed, snuggled into my blanket and smiling super widely while holding my christmas coffee mug. I don't even recognise when this picture was taken until I spot the horn of my unicorn onesie. It was taken this morning.
I look up at Iris to see him smiling happily at me. I can't fathom enough words to say so instead I literally jump over him, hugging the life out of this amazing human being. In a minute, I let him go to say something to my family and friends.
"I- Thank you. Truly. This time last year we all thought that I wouldn't make it to next christmas yet here we are." I chuckle "Throughout this year I focused so hard on the flaws this surgery brought me when I was supposed to thank god for the incredible gift I have. You. All of you. My family. My friends, and my fiancee. Before it all happened I didn't realise the importance of you all but this experience taught me that even though I went through hell, you are all there for me. At the end of each and every single day I can come to any one of you and talk or cry. I know I'm loved by you and I'm sorry I took this all for granted. Merry Christmas."
Everyone cheers and I laugh uncontrollably to stop my tears from falling. I feel Iris' hand brushing over mine. Looking down, I stare at our entwined hands for a few seconds before standing on the tip of my toes to plant a kiss on his lips.
"I love you." He whispers.
"I love you." I smiled "I told you if it's meant to be it'll be."
I rest my head on his shoulder.
