My Last Day, That Became My First

I hugged my parents one last time. I made sure my shampoo bottle is empty. I have list of my favourite songs hanged on my wall. I made sure my boyfriend will move on. I cleaned my room. I wrote a bedtime story for my little sister. I hid the letter underneath my clothes knowing they'll look there.I was going as my mom said " lily?". I turned around to face her with a smile. "Stay safe." She said with a gentle smile. I nodded. I started grinding my teeth as I always do when I'm thinking. Will she be able to move on? I think so, she has my little sister. She deserves better than a broken child. I went to the apartment i booked on the 15th floor for a day in my favourite street. I took the keys from the security guard with a smile. He complimented my dress. It's my favourite dress. I smiled at him and went towards the elevator. I sighed while opening the door. Mom called, I texted her saying I'm in class. I went in and made sure i didn't move anything. I don't want people to make an effort trying to re-clean it. I went to the balcony and made sure no-one is looking at me. I stood on the fence for a while. I'm not scared. "Hello there" someone said and I screamed. " yo hey chill. I'm sorry!" A guy in the apartment next to mine said. "How are you even here! Jake (The security guard) said no-one is here!" I said. " I just came here and a different security guard gave me the keys maybe that's why he didn't know i was here" he said. "What were you trying to do?" He said seriously. "Nothing I was just enjoying the view" I said as i was going in. "No you weren't, you were going to jump" he said. I took a step back and looked him in the eyes " what made you think I was trying to kill myself?" I said. "Because I did-. I mean I was trying to" he said and he looked worried. "Yoh failed?" I said making sure I didn't break the eye contact. " something like that" he said while sighing. "Why?" He said. As I was starting to speak he said "It's okay. Tell me you won't meet me again. I don't even want to know your name if that will make you feel better" he said with a reassuring smile. I took a deep breath" I'm tired. I'm tired of everything. I don't want to live for another day. The world is cruel and yes I know you might ask me to try harder or to seek for professional help but I did. I promise i did. Nothing helped. I'm just borned in the wrong time and in the wrong place. People can call me selfish, coward or whatever they want but I don't want to stay here for another minute. I just can't " i said wiping my tears. He jumped to me balcony and sat beside me. "Can I tell you a story?" I was going to stop him when he said " if it didn't change your idea I'll leave you alone and I won't tell anyone I met you. I promise!" He said. I nodded. "Once upon a time there was a guy who was loved by his parents. His name was Cole. He had lots of friends but he never felt that someone understands him. He was surrounded by lots of people but no one really knew him. And then came a day. When he decided that he will take his life away. He put his favourite outfit on and booked an apartment and said goodbye to his family and took his life away. Guess what? It was in this apartment i live in. But you know what? He saw all those people who cared about him. His friends didn't go out together anymore like they alway did. His parents divorced because they kept blaming each others for his death. His older brother completely changed into someone who isn't quite close to that great person he was. But Cole couldn't do anything about it. He knew that mistake that he made. So what i want to tell you is that sometimes you won't know the purpose of your life. Sometimes you'll feel so lost. You'll feel that you're in the wrong place. But i will ask you one more last thing. Give this life another chance. I know you tried i know. But what I also know is that you tried while you already decided you will take your life away. No. What i am asking you to do is to give it another try like someone who wants to live every minute. If it didn't work. Go. But please . Just one more last try" he said with tears in his eyes. I thought about his words. I have strange feeling that I should listen to him. "Okay" I said with a sad tone. He got up and hugged me. He hugged me so hard and then he smiled at me and wrnt back to his apartment. I wanted to ask for his number but I was too shy. So i decided to ask the security guard jake. "Jake?" I called his name as i was getting out of the elevator. "Lily! Hi! Do you need anything" he said with a wide smile on his face. " there's a guys who took the apartment next to mine today. I know that you don't know he said he took the keys from another security guard that's why you don't know. I want to know if you can get me his number without telling him. All i know that his name is Cole" i said breathing hard because this was the longest sentence I've ever spoke. "Cole?" He said with wide eyes. I nodded. "COLE?" He asked again. "Omg yes what's wrong with you?" I said. "Lily sit down" i did and he started speaking. "First things first I'm the only security guard here. Second things second Cole is a guy who booked this apartment and jumped from it's window. I didn't know anything about him but his name. When I saw his body I was in a shock hell he was young" i immediately interrupted him ."no no, he knows about this but you must be talking about a wrong Cole, the cole I met is tall macular-" he interrupted me saying" with blue eyes, white skin and blonde curly hair." I gasped. This is what Cole looked like. " lily no one lives there anymore" he said. I gathered my stuff and walked out thanking him and giving him the keys without speaking another word.




*7 years later*

"Mom! Mom! There is a man who waved at me from the next apartment! He asked me to tell you he says hi!" Cole, my youngest kid said. I immediately ran to the balcony hoping I would see him again but he wasn't there. There was a note left written on it " i told you you were going to live!" The note slipped from my hands and I watched it as it was flying in the air. I looked at his balcony and smiled. It had been seven years. I gave life a chance as he said. And I love my life now. When me and my boyfriend decided to move in together. I bought this apartment. Years passed and we had a baby, i called him cole. So i could never forget him. Sometimes I even visit his grave now. I have never saw him again. Sometimes I see him in the mirror smiling proudly at me but when I turn around he's not there. Sometimes you need to give things another chance, no matter how hard you tried. I looked up at the sky and smiled. I felt someone standing next to me. Knowing that it's him I didn't turn around so he won't go. I just leaned my head on his shoulders. And stared at the sky.