the beauty of darkness in the eyes of the devil

Have you ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight? Have you ever felt that darkness was like the cover that made you feel warm? Did you try twirling around in a black silk dress, windows open and the sound of the wind is the symphony you dance upon? They say devils are often scary, but my devil was handsome, he had a golden brown hair, hazel eyes and strong arms. Mine had a deep laugh that seems to turn my insides, he had a smile that weakened me and words that made me feel like I am falling deeper in love. In his company, darkness was our beloved time, as he made it seem so peaceful and safe. The little light that shone through the windows made me fall more for him as it shined on his face and I was bewildered then. Time has passed, I realized that the darkness was my acquaintance all along, the devil was just the right companion that I later found that I was obliged to love. My devil was putting knives into my back all along, making me bleed to death, no wonder why I always felt pain in both his absence and his presence. That special smile wasn’t of love, but it was the drug that  kept me stupefied till the time of burial came. Now, under the same moonlight and twinkling lights only the place and the person is different, I am in another darkness lit only by my lanterns and I am not the same as before, only better and stronger. I won’t stop to wander around in the comfort of the murks, taking in every minute of solidarity and selfness as I lacked those in the past. I still wonder about the reason for my smile; is it insanity or happiness? Is it both?