to my first love.

i put you first, i have always put you first.. from the day i fell in love with you, you have become a priority. when i wake up in the morning, my mind always fills up with thoughts of you. during the day, whatever i’m doing or wherever i am, you’re always on my mind. when i go to sleep, my mind tends to bring you up as well, even when i’m asleep, i see you in my dreams.
i could talk about all the feelings you make me feel for so long. you’re the first person to make the butterflies come alive whenever you’re around. you are the first person to fill up my heart completely with warmth and other unexplainable great feelings and when i grow up, i will tell everyone that you were my first love, my first ever real love. but then, the hurtful side effects of that unrequited love started to wound me. i lost myself trying not to lose you, i spent so many days and nights with my mind intoxicated with thoughts of you, our smallest interactions made me feel delighted, the shallowest of words coming from your mouth sent me to cloud 9. i spent most of my nights trying to convince myself that you will one day love me back, but when i came to the realization that you will never share the same feelings, i’ve never felt more melancholic. i spend my nights trying to make sense of the galaxies you hold in your eyes, i wake up the next day with puffy eyes from the scarcity of sleep but you still strike my mind, i brush those thoughts away but they keep coming back, my love for you never diminished. But, how can i call it love when i cry more than i smile?