Healing My Deepest Scar
"Are you sure you want to do this?" the man said.
Standing next to me, my husband nodded at me as I looked at him.
"Yes, I'm positive!" I nodded back with a confident smile.
"You only got one shot to go through time and you choose when you were 13? I'm not sure that's so smart. I'm sorry if I sound annoying, but it's my job to warn you." The man nervously questioned.
"I know sir. Yes, I'm sure. Thank you" I confirmed.
"Okay then," he said while fixing the wires attached to the points on my head.
"Now close your eyes," he ordered.
I felt my husband's hands holding mine. As I was closing my eyes, I started to see a vision forming, and I easily recognized this place; the place that used to be my room when I was 13... and It looked just like I remembered. I stood in a place where my little self couldn't see me and took a look at my 10-years-ago self. She was crying, probably having another mental breakdown in her room alone. Surely, she convinced everyone that she was okay and just needed to bring something from her room. The girl finished crying, then, wiped her eyes and smiled at the mirror looking as if she never cried. Before she headed outside her room, I had grabbed her arm. A gasp escaped her mouth instantly.
"Shh, It's okay," I said, trying to calm her down.
With a terrified look on her face, "Who are you?!" She confusingly uttered. She discovered I looked a lot like her.
"I know that might sound really crazy, but I'm you!" I smiled.
"Yeah I noticed, but how!" She said, looking terrified.
"Sit down, I only have 15 minutes," I said while sitting on the bed. She sat next to me still looking terrified.
"Look, I only have one shot for this. In the future, there will be a way to go through time. But you only get one shot. Instead of seeing myself after 10 years, I chose to go to the past-"
She interrupted me with her question. "But why?"
"Well both of us know I needed this, you need this!" I paused, then continued talking.
"Look, I need to tell you that I know how hard things are, I know how much pain you're dealing with, yet you're hiding it from everyone. I came to tell you that everything will be okay. Look at me ... look at us! Look at us 10 years later! Look how happy I look! I still remember those nights when we almost ended our life! I remember all those mental breakdowns, all the anxiety and all the pain. But I promise you, everything will be okay. I know, I really know how hard it is. You feel like no one can see you, I know. But just wait ... please wait. Live your life to the max. Don't let anyone tell you what to do! And one last thing; be happier than I am, with nothing holding you back.
"Will you trust me in this?" I grinned.
"Yes!" She chirped, wiping her tears away.
"In a year, you'll join a new sport, you're going to love it and it's going to change your life to the better, of course. But please, please! A guy will try to be best friends with you. Please don't get near him. Please!" I cried.
"Could you tell me why?"
" Just don't, please ignore his message ... please just make him a training acquaintance and nothing more. Just don't let him get close to you okay?" I said with a sad smile.
"Okay," she whispered.
I heard peeping sounds and I discovered I only had 1 minute. "Listen to me, take this," I said, taking my bracelet off. This bracelet was the last thing he gave me when we were really best friends. He broke me, yet after all those years I can't get over him ... I still wear the matching bracelets he gave me when I was 16 while knowing that he doesn't even remember.
"Wear it okay? It holds all the good memories I had of the guy you're going to avoid ... Trust me he was going to break your heart. I'm going to go now. You're great and wonderful. You deserve the whole world. You're going to be so successful and happy, just wait for it okay?" I said giving her the bracelet after looking at it for one last time. I hugged her with my eyes closed and we both were crying. The peeping sounds got louder and founder, as I felt my husband's hands patting my shoulders.
"You're okay, you're okay now ... everything is okay" he gently reassured me
I smiled at him, for now everything will be okay. I'm going to be okay. Some mistakes happen in life and it's okay. Without the wrong people, we would never know our worth. I glanced at my wrist, finding the bracelet that looks older now. I felt the pain getting off of my chest, assuming she believed me. She wore the bracelet all this time, and she ignored him ... I don't feel the pain in my chest anymore. I nodded at my husband and he smiled. That's what I deserved; peace.